Is Today Fired?

I wanted to like Thursday. I did. But Thursday gave me a little bit of lower back pain and some quality post-coffee acid reflux. Both of which are bumming me out right now. But, Thursday brought some rain to our parched land here in DC, which is making my garden okay with me right now. Circadian Diurnal Supply also apologizes for the lateness of this morning’s dispatch. It was unavoidable, but also unfortunate. Here we go!

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Wednesday, thou art weighed in the balance, and found wanting. We will be showing you to the door as soon as security has recharged its taser array. Just to make sure there’s no further shenanigans, that is.

Chaoticfluffy in linguistics wrote, “that doesn’t explain the bad drivers or the general “I look at the clock every hour and only ten minutes has gone by”-ness of today. And I have dishes to wash when I get home.

You smell. And I mean that in a bad way.”

Sabre in IT typed, “Wednesday is continuing in the same poor form as Monday and Tuesday. One would think he’d pay attention to what happened to his predecessors and put forth a little effort, but nooo, Wednesday can’t be bothered.”

Sidewinder in the Carpentry group tapped out, “But the hope was quickly dashed when all progress stopped, waiting hours for available machinery, and not even having a plan B to resort to.

Wednesday, just follow the rest of the week down to the unemployment office before something bad happens.”

Wednesday’s probably our most fired day here at Circadian Diurnal Supply. I’m not sure if it’s being the gateway to the weekend, or being the resting place of our frustrations for the early half of the week before the rest of the week arrives. Either way, it’s a tough place to be. Here we are again, on that raggedy edge.

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One more bit of business. Major, major thanks to Andrhia who held down the fort for me while I was on vacation in Seattle. She did a great job with the place while we were gone!

You’ve spoken, and the word on Tuesday is not good. (Though not as horrendous as yesterday, whose name we will not even speak here for fear of summoning its vile spirit.)

Quoth tyrg20: “Wow. WOW. I didn’t know they made mornings like this. Forgot to tie up one loose end last night before I left, and now I get a crappy email from the boss. Never mind the good work I usually do and never get a second mention of that. Top it off with my ankle is still killing me, and I can’t get in touch with a big client(he’s dodging my calls)- today is so fired that its MOMMA is fired. So fired that there are scorch marks around the door. You get the picture.”

Lee seemed to agree: “Tuesdays for me are very often worse than Mondays. Besides the fact I was up late finishing an article and had to get up early today, I’m supposed to complete two magazine pages today and still have to attend a 1-2 hour meeting this afternoon. Today sucks.”

There was one notable dissident — even anarchic — comment from Rhiamom: “Tuesday, you are tops in my book. You brought me the thrill of a coup, or a popular revolution, or something, bubbling away in Bangkok. Will PM Samak resign? Will the People’s Alliance for Democracy succeed in taking over ALL the government buildings and TV stations? Will the Army break the stalemate by choosing a side? Oh, Tuesday, you have brought me so much to ponder, and the constant updates on the Intarwebs are all an information junkie could ever ask.”

How can Wednesday top something like that?

And as I close up shop here for the day, I’d like to mention how grateful I am to all of you for bearing with me while our usual host has been away. You’ve been a great crowd. Thanks!

Tuesday’s a really mixed performer. Full of surprises. Never know what to expect out of a Tuesday. So far, here at Is Today Fired? Weekday HR HQ, there haven’t yet been any strong indicators about what kind of day this is going to be. We were kept up by a small child from 3 to 5am… on the other hand, we got to sleep in late this morning. See? Inconsistency. 

Let’s see how well this Tuesday works out, shall we?

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If Monday had any residual goodwill leftover from last week, it’s sure gone now. Monday went above and beyond this week, and not in the good way — we got more votes to sack Monday than every other option combined. I have to say, I’m really impressed at how far this Monday went to be true to form.

We had just barely opened up the polls this morning when giromide set the tone for the day: “My car has been in the shop since Wednesday with a sensor system problem never seen before by Honda. I have been forced to drive my wife’s car to and from work until Honda can approve a rental if it’s needed.

“My wife has a toothache and needs to see the dentist soon.

“Our home is still a disaster from the move and construction. Our HELOC checks have not yet been issues to relieve some of the mounting monetary stress related to said move and construction.

“Oh, and tomorrow is my wife’s birthday, and I can’t possibly make it as superspecial as I’d like.”

And it was all downhill from there. Sidewinder told us: “When you want to call it quits and crawl back into bed in the first hour of the day you just have to say goodbye.”

Sabre wrote: “All in all, I think I can say without any hesitation, I hate you. And I hope to never see you again!”

Although those of us in here at Is Today Fired? did pretty well, showing that Monday isn’t just a poor performer, he’s a suckup, to boot. I had a fantastic day with the little ones, including playing outside, a newly clean and vacuumed car (now with 99% less stale goldfish!), and even featuring naptime. And our Tom sounds like he’s having a fab vacation, weather notwithstanding: “Oh Monday. You brought us a great national park and a killer lunch near the stadia here in Seattle. But you also rained on me. If you bring gelato this afternoon, you may stay.”

But we’re wise to his game, so we’re filling out the papers for a restraining order and making sure the agency is clear on what it is we’re looking for next week. 

Well, Monday, so far you’re doing pretty good. You’ve ushered in a full week of no-camp and no-school in my house with an extended laze in bed watching cartoons, followed by the promise of breakfast out… as soon as we feel like getting out of our pajamas.

But Monday… we have a lot of history together. And frankly, a lot of us think you’re a good-for-nothing slacker, a clock-watcher, an excuse-maker, and a lot worse. Still, last Monday you really wowed us with your completely adequate performance. Do you have an encore in you? Let’s vote and find out.

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Well, Friday made it through the day OK, but he was definitely a mixed performer. Most of you hadn’t even noticed that Friday snuck into the office today.

As tygr20 wrote: Granted, it’s only 9 am, but I’ve been thinking since yesterday that today was only Thursday. How can I properly review Friday when I’m a day off?

But there were some definite highs and lows to Friday’s performance, too.

Yorkybar told us: I can’t deny it, Friday has been good to me. Most of this was due to the chance to pop in to Starbucks where I ran into my old regular barista that I used to chat to everyday, but who I thought had left. Turns out he just moved to a different shop.

But Lou vehemently disagreed: Friday, you brought the police into the neighborhood before the sun. This kept my dog barking for most of the night, which led to not a whole lot of sleep. Just take yourself, Wednesday and Thursday, and get the hell out, now!

So you’re sticking around for now, Friday, but don’t get too comfortable — that was pretty close. Looks like you can’t always coast on your reputation, dude.

And so we come to Friday, the rockstar employee of the week. Everyone’s favorite day. He always makes the sale, turns his receipts in on time, and while he’s at it brings in coffee and home-made sour cream coffee cake for the whole office. What’s not to love?

So this Friday has big shoes to fill. Let’s be honest, it’s not quite as easy as it looks. It’s a lot of pressure to put on one guy. Are his feet going to be big enough, or does this Friday not have what it takes? You tell us!

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