Is Today Fired?

Thanks for coming in on such short notice, Wednesday. Look, I know that a lot of people think you’re the bees knees, what with being the gateway toward the weekend, but you’ve been falling down on the job lately. In fact, I’m pretty sure you were still drunk from partying with Monday last night when you got here this morning. That you spent your lunch hour arranging for a tryst with your best friend’s ex? Just unacceptable. Here’s what your coworkers say:

Sidewinder in the Carpentry Division wrote, “Wednesday had the opportunity to be the epic hero, but blew it early. What, with bringing in the heat wave early, and helping to drag a simple one day project out into it’s third day with no end in sight, Wednesday isn’t even fulfilling our mediocre expectations.”

Sabre in the IT group said, “Wednesday, you had so much promise. It could have been a fantastic relationship with you and I. But you blew it by dumping that personal mess in my lap, during business hours no less. You are fired, GTFO and don’t look back. Oh, and also? Bite me.”

Goddess scrawled, “Wednesday, there is nothing more disappointing than pulling on the crankypants and finding a muffin top. I’d send you home early but that wouldn’t be a “fitting” punishment!”

Don’t come back. Ever. Get gone.

After Tuesday’s nightmarish behavior, anything could look good. So, here we are, with Wednesday back in the office again. We recognize that you might be tempted to tacklehug Wednesday after yesterday’s crap, but please, try to retain your objectivity and professionalism.

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